Would anyone like to impersonate me this Sunday and give a talk? I absolutely hate/loathe/dread speaking in church! How evil am I? I am always astounded by those people that say they love speaking in church. I would do just about anything to avoid it. I even went so far as to count up how many times I have had to speak in sacrament meeting. Thirteen times if anyone is interested. Yes, it has become easier but is still tortuous for me. My reasons are many.
-I will cry like a baby and come home with a migraine due to the stress and crying.
-In my perfectionist mind nothing less than an apostle like talk will do. I will never be able to produce a talk of that caliber hence endless frustration and angst.
-Social anxiety. It is alive and real for me. Getting up in front of a giant roomful of people is enough but compound that with sharing some words of wisdom and I am done.
I was supposed to speak on January 31st but due to Gavin's hospital stay I had to cancel the night before. I was really hoping against hope that I would not be asked again. No such luck. I was re-asked this past Sunday and given a new topic.
It is now Thursday and despite hours of research on lds.org I am still in need of a talk. And yet here I sit griping and moaning. I really hope I will not be asked to speak again for a long, long, long, long, long, long time. Who said, that which does not kill us makes us stronger? I just might prove them wrong come Sunday.
8 comments:
GOOD LUCK!
You'll do a great job! I loved hearing you speak last time! You don't even act nervous!!
You will do great!!!! I will be thinking about you on Sunday!!!
Yuck...I'd rather go through childbirth again than give another talk. Shhhhh don't tell but to this day I have been able to evade giving an "adult" talk.
Don't wanna be you. :-) I love the people that say "picture everyone in their underwear..." Seriously? If that helped, we'd never get nervous speaking, right?
I feel for you Heather. I get the same way about giving talks. Pure dread!
But of course you know you will do great. Even without an apostle-like talk (cause we all know those aren't always the funnest to listen to ;) I like hearing stuff I can relate to. Stuff I already know but from someone else's perspective. You'll do FAUBULOUS darling!
I'm so sorry but this post made me laugh. I really do feel bad for you, trust me. Talking in church really is difficult, I do not envy you at all. I know you'll do great. What's the topic?
Amber I cannot believe that!!! Shannon the topic is "Being Led by the Spirit". Thanks for the good wishes everyone!!! I need'em!
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