Tough Love

Ashlyn after her ordeal at the doctor's office.

Just when I thought I had this parenting thing kinda sorta figured out life throws you an Ashlyn. For Ashlyn's first two years of life she was an absolute Angel. She never cried, not even to eat. I actually had to set the alarm to wake up and feed her because she would sleep through the night even though she was not gaining weight. Now this came after Whitney (colic) and Gavin (spent the first 6 months of life doing nothing but breast feeding) who were both high need babies. Everyone would always comment on how sweet and peaceful she was.

She still has her sweet moments to be sure but starting around 2 we started to see a personality change and by the time she was three we were left to wonder what had happened to "our angel". To put it in a nutshell she is a Diva. She has become stubborn, demanding and wants what she wants. But she knows how to work it! She doesn't throw a tantrum she does this pitiful, slow face crumple where the crocodile tears slowly start to roll. All the while she somehow manages to convey that she is bravely trying to hold back but it is just too much for her. I can't tell you how many times strangers and salespeople have wanted to buy her candy, toys etc. when I have said no and this performance has begun. People always look at me like what a meanie or even say how can you resist her? Because I have a heart of stone people. Ha, ha.

She also loves, loves, loves her role as the "baby". She does not want to be a big girl she will tell you she is a baby. She even asks Chris to hold her like a baby. She is in no hurry to grow up. Which is a complete switch from my older two kids. This child has refused to potty train despite being completely capable. She shows all the signs of readiness. She even stays dry through the night. She does sporadically use the potty but not consistently and only when she wants to. We have tried everything. Basically she is just obstinate. We even had an incidence at Olive Garden about a month ago where she told me she needed to use the potty. I take her to the bathroom and go into the handicapped stall which also houses the baby changing station. She wants me to change her on the baby changing station, I tell her no she is not a baby and that is for babies. She completely looses it!!! I mean kicking, screaming meltdown looses it. I have to carry her out to the car.

Fast forward to yesterday's three year check up with her pediatrician. (Even though she turned 3 in October this was the earliest appointment they had!) First off she was not happy because she got a flu shot. 6 hours later she was still holding her thigh and saying oooww, my leg. Can we say drama queen? Anyways, the doctor comes in we start talking about the potty training issue and he says its time for some "tough love". He recommends just putting her in panties, no more pull ups for her. He then proceeds to give her a firm talk all about how she is a big girl not a baby, that she needs to pee and poop on the potty, no more diapers for her etc. She was NOT amused with him. She was giving him the crustiest of her crusty looks. I seriously wish I could have it on tape because she was just radiating hate for this man. Besides myself, I think it was the first time anyone had ever not fallen for her pitiful act. After this he tries to examine her. She acted like the boogie man himself was trying to touch her. Again, no screaming but clutching at me and acting terrified. Really she is quite the actress! He then gives me "doctors orders" to put her in some kind of program twice a week where she is away from Mom and is around kids her own age. More evil looks from Ashlyn after this verdict, as she hates kids her own age. Seriously HATES them. Every Sunday in Sunbeams is torture for her. When the other children touch her or try to interact with her she acts like she is being attacked by some horrible diseased animal. She spends most of her time sitting on the male teacher's lap. This was something I had been thinking I needed to do anyways so I was mostly amused and just a little defensive. =) I feel compelled (literally cannot stop myself) to let the doctor know that my other two children were potty trained well before this age and that it is her Dad her spoils her rotten.

When her Daddy comes home from work she immediately tells him all about the "mean, mean doctor" and her owie. Once we get back from our Disney World trip we will be switching to panties cold turkey. At this point I am willing to try anything. It truly makes me appreciate Whitney and Gavin who were so easy to potty train though! Wish us luck or preferably a miracle. =)