I saw my OB doctor today for a routine check up and I have to say I left feeling a little discriminated against. I have been to the office probably 4 to 5 times now and without fail every visit someone on the staff makes some kind of condescending comment to me about being pregnant with my 4th child. Almost every visit someone asks or assumes I will be wanting a tubal ligation when I deliver. Apparently, 4 is the number that pushes you over the edge into the "too many kids" category.
I am willing to concede that having 4 kids is something that is not for everyone. Up to this point I was able to just think to myself whatever. I had even anticipated that I would get people who would have negative things to say but I never imagined what a nasty edge some people would have. I'm not quite sure what it is that they find so offensive. Maybe if we were living on welfare or I was addicted to crack I could understand their point of view. It is true we will not be able to provide our children with a lifestyle where they receive a brand new car on their sixteenth birthday or vacation in the Bahamas every Christmas break but is that really such a bad thing?
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
11 comments:
That is crazy! You should NEVER feel that way about bringing a sweet baby into a loving home...it's to bad that people can be so rude. If they something else you should tell them to watch the show on TLC where a family has 17 kids and one on the way....that is a big family...
I hate to say it, but expect more of that down there. People were constantly making rude comments about how many kids we had. One old man even asked if I had "ever heard of birth control". Oh, that southern hospitality. I don't miss that one bit! Enjoy every single one of your babies and flaunt them proudly!
The thing that bugs me is that they (the rude people) don't even stop to think that your choice has NOTHING to do with them and they don't even think how what they say can put a damper on something that should be such a happy occasion. AARRRGGGHHH!!! People are just so incensitive. How frustrating!! Hopefully you won't run into too many more people who think thay just HAVE to voice their opinions =) Hang in there=)
All the more reason you should: MOVE TO UTAH!!! You'll never get weird looks having 4 kids there and I will be so much happier if you do! see, problem solved :)
I had people think I should be done when we had Harlee - we had a boy and a girl, what more could we ask for right?! I also got lots of comments about how close together they were (2 years is pretty normal I thought). I have to say you're a better person than I though, I would have made some snooty comment back, especially with all those pregnancy hormones running rampant through your body :) Just know that only you can make that decision and everyone else is just an idiot :D
I went through that but it wasn't until I got pregnant with my 5th. Of course, we lived in Utah so that made a difference. But the comment came from Howard's grandmother who very tactfully (I'm sure she thought) said 'you might want to think about having something done.' I actually got more rude comments when I announced I was quitting. My aunt said to me "Susan, there are so many spirits waiting to come down to good LDS homes." My response to her was "Aunt Louise, when I'm pregnant it's not a good home." I was miserably sick and cranky for nine months.
Heather, I'm sorry you have to put up with that. People are so rude sometimes.
Welcome to the world of "large" families! I am so tired of the "are they all yours?" question. Why would I dress 5 kids alike that aren't mine? But, we also get a lot of very positive comments. Hugs! I feel your pain.
I think here in Utah we get used to being "normal" but Esther said in South Carolina she got stopped routinely in the grocery store with comments. I loved Tim's response when our kiddos were little. We had Nate (bio,then 2), and Megan (adopted, infant) and Jeran (bio, infant). People would stop us all the time and ask questions trying to make sense of what they were seeing. If you can believe it, we were even asked on a few occasions if Megan and Jeran were twins. Tim learned some quick funny comebacks that would leave them stumped long enough for us to escape. My favorite was, "They have the same mother but different fathers." Good luck to you and congratulations for following your heart.
just know that you are not alone. just imagine how people react when they here that i have four boys under the age of seven. Unfortunatley the world does not see the value of our little ones. And sadley thay will not feel the absolutle joy and blessing that they bring to your life. Just smile proudly nothing is greater than being a mom.
I'm sorry to hear that. People should mind their on business! You are doing the right thing, and so many are not!!
Oh boy, I sympathize with you here :)
Post a Comment